< < Back To The Marshall Occasional • • Over To Job-Hunting Stuff > >
⊕ If you have a $5 tree, dig a $10 hole.
Landscaping advice that carries over to most everything you do.
⊕ There are two types of problems in the world.
Those you can solve by writing a check and those you can't.
⊕ It takes a lot to win a war.
It takes all you have to lose one.
⊕ When you're half-joking, you're also half-serious.
Which leads me to ...
⊕ It's not what's said, it's what's heard.
The basis of countless silly arguments, and a reason why emotional intelligence should be taught in school.
⊕ Truisms become truisms because in large part they are true.
The opposite is true when it comes to stereotypes. People will always surprise you.
⊕ Oh, it can't get any worse than this.
Actually, it can always get worse. And it often does.
⊕ The number of organisms found on Earth isn't in the bazillions.
The total number of organisms on Earth is one.
⊕ If you think you're the smartest person in the room, you're automatically not.
If you think you're above making mistakes, then you just made one.
⊕ It's not who you love.
It's who loves you back.
⊕ The definition of a professional is doing a good job even when you don't feel like it.
The definition of ethics is doing the right thing even if no one is looking.
⊕ Be optimistic even when you don't feel like it.
Optimism is a force multiplier. Also, a cynic is an idealist who has been disappointed.
⊕ When you have a rival in the workplace, don't sit across the table from them. Sit right next to them.
It's a long story. Trust me. It works.
⊕ If you want to see your girlfriend in her underwear, don't buy her lingerie. Buy her jewelry.
This was advice given by a jeweler.
⊕ Kids bring joy. Otherwise we'd have stopped having them.
Flipside: There's nothing worse than seeing an inconsolable child.
⊕ It really is all about the money.
The people who say otherwise generally have lots of it. The importance of money is patently obvious when you don't have any.
⊕ Your life is impacted by things well beyond our control.
The most valid predictor of your success in life is how much money your dad made.
⊕ Funniest joke that's not funny.
"I won't get married again; I'll just find a woman I hate and give her my house."
⊕ Housing developments are named for what was destroyed to put them there.
Rolling Meadows. Tall Timbers. You get the idea.
⊕ Do your best every day.
But always remember your best will vary from day to day.
⊕ Plenty of politicians go to Washington D.C. calling it a cess pool.
When they get there, they realize it's a hot tub.
⊕ Accuse your political opponents of doing what you're doing.
In modern Republican politics, most accusations are actually confessions.
⊕ Somewhere between nine and 14 percent of all people are stupid or evil.
That from a famous computer usability guy. He spent years looking at consistent subsets of test results that had no other explanation.
⊕ When there's only one electrical line coming to your house, don't talk to me about competition.
Pay attention to the obvious when people are speaking in grand theories.
⊕ How to phrase a question.
"Why" questions make people defensive. "What made you" questions get people focused on their answer.
⊕ At first you do things above and beyond because it makes you feel good.
As time goes on, the above and beyond becomes expected.
⊕ Smarter people than us figured this out a long time ago.
There are probably reasons why nobody is doing it the way your client wants to do it.
⊕ Who ya gonna believe, me or your own lying eyes?
In matters of eye-witness testimony, false positives are more likely than false negatives. Always remember you can't misquote silence.
⊕ It would be a boring world if everybody felt the same way.
Widely accepted conventional wisdom is quite often wrong. Just ask the Ukrainians who were going to be conquered by Russia in three days.
⊕ Most people listen to the music of their youth throughout their entire life.
This is a habit worth breaking. Here's some help.
⊕ There's a secret to making predictions.
Always predict more of the same, more or less.
-30-
Varying degrees of credit for items contained in this list go to The First Dumpling, Lewis Grizzard, The Four Agreements, Newt Gingrich, Freakonomics, George Carlin, Steve Krug, H.L. Mencken, Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Jane Milliken and Groucho Marx.